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HELPING CHILDREN DEAL WITH GRIEF AND LOSS Children and adolescents experience grief and loss for all the same reasons as adults. They may also experience these same feelings for reasons that don’t affect adults and which may seem strange and unreasonable to parents, teachers, and other caretakers. Many children are, for example, personally effected by media reports of death, injury and hardship experienced during time of war and conflict, by the death of a pet, by the presence of family conflict, moving to a new home, or other seemingly routine events of daily life. Understanding the impact that grief and loss can have on the emotional and behavioral health of children, and their response to it, is important for parents, teachers and others who care for them. Children may feel especially vulnerable and insecure when families suffer a loss. They may believe that they are responsible for what has happened. It is easy for them to misunderstand what is happening unless parents discuss the situation and any changes that may occur as a result. Separation and divorce are particularly hard on children. Conflict between parents almost always creates confusion, anger, and grief, as well as anxiety about their own future. At such times, both parents need to assure their children of their continued love and commitment. Temporary separation caused by work responsibility away from home, or by active military service in time of war or civil conflict, creates major anxiety and uncertainty for children. Media reports of war heighten the fear that the child feels for the survival and safe return of their parent. Parents and care givers need to help children interpret and understand the events being depicted through the media, and monitor the amount of time children spend watching television and using their computers to follow events. Pre-school children see death as temporary and reversible, like the cartoon characters on their television. By the ages of 5 to 9, children start to think more like adults but still can’t believe it could happen to them or anyone they know. As well as the shock and confusion a child feels at the death of a family member, adults’ own feelings can make it difficult for them to cope with the emotional and physical needs of their children. Professional counseling may help guide families through this difficult time. The Family Help Kit prepared by NSWHealth of New South Wales, Australia (www.health.nsw.gov.au) offers a number of helpful tips on how parents can help children cope with grief and loss:
(Information for this information bulletin is from the “Grief and Loss” fact sheet in the FAMILY HELP KIT prepared by the New South Wales Health Department, Australia – www.health.new.gov.au) For more information, contact:
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