The key words here are indulge yourself. Listen, you’re having enough trouble getting out of bed every day and going to work or school. You don’t need to push yourself. Think of yourself as an invalid recuperating from a very debilitating illness. You have to pamper yourself, body and spirit. This page is therefore all about “cocooning”, that is, wrapping yourself up in layers of comfort to protect yourself. By the way, don’t let anyone convince you that you should be thinking happy thoughts or “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps”. That will come later. Right now you could get happy about slugging anyone who has a sunny disposition, right? Okay, gather up whatever energy you have, and see what interests you below.
Music
- I find that classical music is good for what you’re feeling right now. These selections are some of my favorites for expressing the depths of depression:
- Bach – Concerto in D Minor for 2 violins and orchestra, Second Movement
- Albioni – Adagio in G
- Barber – Adagio for strings, op. 11
- Henryk Gorecki – Third Symphony (Symphony of Sorrows)
- I think you’ll also find music by Enigma soothing and hypnotic. Here are a couple of clips of their music in RealAudio:
- Sadeness – from MCMXC a.D.
- Return to Innocence – from The Cross of Changes
Your Body
Here’s where some of the real pampering comes in. These suggestions all are good for men as well as women; men, don’t be afraid to try some things that you may have thought were just for women. Pampering is not gender-specific.
- If you can afford it, a visit to a day spa is in order. Spas and salons are soothing places set up for the sole purpose of pampering you. My favorite is a day with a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure and maybe an aromatherapy scalp massage.
- Get a professional massage. Really! Non-sexual touching is just what the doctor ordered. Make an appointment for a full-body massage. If you’re feeling uncomfortable about anyone seeing you nude (you will be covered by a sheet or towel), start off by having a neck and shoulder massage or foot reflexology. Check out the Yellow Pages or search Yahoo’s Massage section for a masseuse or spa near you.
- If you can’t afford a visit to a spa, re-create some of the elements of a spa at home. Play some soothing New Age music, light scented candles or get a potpourri burner. Treat yourself to a bath scented with fragrant oils. Visit Aroma Vera for the ingredients. Kneipp bath oils are my favorite. You can find them in upscale pharmacies. Also check Marshall’s if you live in the United States. You might want to read Water Magic: Healing Bath Recipes for the Body, Spirit and Soul, which has recipes for baths. Here are two recipes from The Scented Bath, a previous book of hers which is now out of print. Lush is also a great source for bath products; if you live in Canada or the US, go to Lush Canada.
- Look into aromatherapy, an alternative way to treat the mind and body with essential oils. Clary sage is good for depression, fatigue, lavender is calming and soothing, neroli is a sedative and anti-depressant. Most essential oils can be found at your local health-food store or look at Bath and Aromatherapy Sources. Note: None of the essential oil anti-depressants should be used as a replacement for your prescribed medication.
- Comfort food is what’s on the menu now. Calorie counting will come when you have a little more motivation and a little less depression. Tea is a wonderful emotional panacea. I don’t have any medical findings on this, but it’s a fact as far as I’m concerned, so while you brew up a pot, look at A World of Tea, or if you like chai, Chai!. Go to Mama’s Cucina for Ragu’s Italian (of course) recipes. Check out Godiva’s web page, if your chocolate palate is very selective.
Services
- Don’t feel like leaving the house to do your grocery shopping? Shop online (for non-perishables) at NetGrocer or PeaPod and have your food delivered. Food.com will coordinate delivery or take-out food from restaurants for you.
- You can get all your health and beauty stuff at Drugstore.com or MotherNature.com. Yes, I know it’s tempting to let those things go, but you’ll feel better.
Socializing
- My suggestion is: stay away from large groups. I look back with horror on a wedding reception that I attended while in the throes of depression. Only because the bride was a dear friend did I manage to stay half an hour before fleeing. Limit your socializing to small groups of friends who at least will try to understand what you’re dealing with. To help them, have them check out the exercises for non-depressives on Jennifer Allison Wand’s Home Page. These are excellent for helping people close to you understand depression at a time when you’re having trouble articulating. Also point them to Best Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed and Worst Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed.
- Get a pet. Not a real pet; you’re having enough trouble taking care of yourself. I’m talking about a cyber-pet. No, really. I myself have a Dogz, a virtual dog that runs around your desktop. It’s great – I teach him to do tricks, pet him, feed him when I want, and there’s nothing to clean up. Plus, if the barking is irritating you can either spray him with a virtual spray bottle or just close the program.
- If a breakup triggered your depression, find some sympathy from Breakup Girl
Escapism
Your own life is just too painful right now, so you need some entertaining diversions. However, they can’t be too demanding intellectually or too depressing. This is not the time to be watching Ingmar Bergman movies or playing computer games like Sanitarium, as worthy as both of those entertainments are. What you need right now is escapism. Sure, watch Star Trek and old Bette Davis movies on TV. But also take the suggestions below into account.
- Try two of my favorite TV shows: Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess. Both are fun shows with no pretensions. The storylines usually aren’t too heavy, the fighting is mostly tongue-in-cheek, and the hero/heroine always wins. Learn more about the shows on their web pages at the Universal Channel. You might want to read the Xena:Warrior Princess FAQ. And may I say proudly that I’ve been a Xena fan since the series started, when people were still laughing at us (so there!).
- If you’re into computer games, don’t try to play any strategy or complex CRPGs (Computer Role-Playing Games). You’ll only end up getting frustrated instead of amusing yourself. Try the Leisure Suit Larry games from Sierra Online. They’re comic adventure games about a hapless but strangely loveable dork which are not too difficult, puzzle-wise. A friend suggested these to me when I was off my medication at one point, and they were perfect. The Space Quest series, also from Sierra Online, features space janitor Roger Wilco, and is also very funny, although a little harder than the Leisure Suit Larry games. If you get stuck on a game, look at the Games Domain, GamePen or Happy Puppy web pages for hints or walkthroughs. I also highly recommend Betrayal at Krondor, which is my all-time favorite computer game. It’s a CRPG, but it doesn’t place a heavy emphasis on statistics. The storyline, written by Raymond Feist based on his Midkemia books, is absorbing. You can download it for free. Here is a great web page about the game, with hints and tips.
- A goofy online adventure game is Lenny Loosejocks in Space. You need Shockwave to play it.
- Since you may be watching a lot of TV, check out the online counterparts:
- A&E;’s Biography
- America’s Most Wanted
- Discovery Channel Online
- PBS Online
- The SciFi Channel
- Nick at Nite’s TV Land
- The Weather Channel
- Don’t forget radio! National Public Radio has its own web site.
- Keep on top of what’s on TV at Ultimate TV, which has features about TV as well as a search facility, and TV Guide Online.
- The Company Therapist is a cyber-soap based on a fictitious therapist’s files.
- If you want to lose yourself in a movie, first check out the Internet Movie Database. Not only is it huge, but it’s updated more often than ones you’ll find on CD ROM. Girls on Film has film reviews and top ten lists.
Reading
- Read novels. Regency novels are my favorites; they transport you back to the time when the only thing a person had to worry about was finding an eligible person to marry, and being a success in society. A good first stop is the Regency Home Page. Don’t miss the web page for the grande dame of Regencies, Jane Austen. Georgette Heyer is the best contemporary author of regency romances. A good general romance novel web pages is Romance Novels and Women’s Fiction. For fun, go to The Well-Dressed Heroine: Fashion Challenges for the Romantic Time Traveler. Two good Regency videos are Emma with Gwyneth Paltrow and Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thompson. My all-time favorite Regency video is A&E’s six-hour version of Pride and Prejudice.
- Retreat to another world in a good fantasy book. Two very popular series are Raymond Feist’s The Riftwar Saga and The Serpentwar Saga and Robert Jordan’s Wheel of Time. David Eddings is also one of my favorite fantasy authors, and of course there’s also the granddaddy of fantasy, J.R.R. Tolkien. The Feminist Science Fiction, Fantasy and Utopia page is a reference guide to works of such authors as Marion Zimmer Bradley, Ursula K. Le Guin and Suzy McKee Charnas, with a Recommendations for Beginners page.
- The proliferation of ezines and electronic versions of print magazines on the Web is one of its strengths. Best of all, you don’t have to actually go to a newsstand to get one!
- Cosmopolitan
- Elle
- Feed
- GURL
- A Man’s Life
- Maxi
- Pathfinder – Time, People, Entertainment Weekly
- Salon
- Science Fiction Weekly
- Senior Women Web
- Time
- Urban Desires
Warm and Fuzzy
- Thomas Kinkade paints comforting, welcoming places.
- If there’s anything more warm and fuzzy than Winnie the Pooh, I’d like to know what it is!